Published September 11, 2010
Joseph
From day one, I knew you were something special.
The truth spoke through your eyes.
It taught me confidence,
It showed me truth.
Together we learned how big the world really is,
leaving me with goals.
Sometimes a picture can't capture a moment,
and sometimes a song can't always explain,
but there's relation
And you happened to be more than a dream.
You gave me strength to believe,
strength to see,
strength to reach for the stars,
but most of all,
you gave a heart.
A heart full of everything.
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141,342 Literary Works • 674,357 Reviews
Sorry my comments are really just questions, but I guess I am still trying to understand how each couplet works together and what the poem is about. I really think you should expand this. You should also think about what your focus is. Right now you seem to be all over the place adding a thought hear putting something cut there.
Hope I helped,
A. S.
Welcome to YWS!
I like this poem, not just because it's my namesake. It's got a lot of heart and it's very well written, if a little short.
Some things I noticed:
Should be "It taught me confidence,"
I think there is supposed to be an a between "there's" and "relation."
It looks like you dropped a few words, the best way to counter that particular error is to read it aloud.
Overall, I liked the poem,